New Year, New … choices
The New Year has well and truely arrived, with the chaos of the festive season behind us all. For many the new year symbolises a fresh start, a point in time where the errors of the past 12 months no longer matter or can be forgotten about, and the quest for self improvement and/or transformation commences. Social media becomes inundated by the hashtag #NewYearNewMe (1.3million hashtags on Instagram for anyone who was interested), comparison collages of weight loss achievements and gym gains, and inspirational quotes announcing how this year will be like no other. Apologies in advance, but I call bullshit.
Where did the idea that change in behaviour meant change in the person? I further question, why would we want to change the person? Physical transformations, achievement of savings goals, mastering new skills, modifying work-life balance, are indicative of hard work, dedication, and commitment to changing CHOICES, not the person. Loosing weight (probably one of the most common New Years resolutions) is not achieved because the person has changed who they are. It is achieved because that same person has made the choice to increase their physical activity and modify the types and amounts of foods they consume. The person who saves their house deposit has chosen to painstakingly set aside money rather than spend it on burgers and beers with friends every Friday night. The person who achieves a more balanced distribution of work and personal commitments, has chosen to say “no” to taking on extra responsibilities so they can come home to their family, friends, and/or pets in time to talk rubbish over dinner or watch mind-numbing TV series together.
I do not intend to suggest that making these new choices is easy. It is definitely not easy to change habits and behaviours that serve us a purpose, even if the outcomes are maladaptive. There is comfort in chaos. Therapy can help better understand why you may feel there is a need to change you as a person, as well as the obstacles in between this moment and your desired achievements (I had to throw in one therapy plug).
What I am attempting to convey is that changing the person should not be the intention or the explanation for why goals are achieved. It is the choices, commitment, dedication, and hard work that the person has made and continues to endure. Also, with choice comes control, and in the end I feel that is something we all want in our lives. Take ownership, make change but be you because being you should be great. #NewYearNewChoices
