Is this therapist my person?

The choice to enter into therapy will never be an easy decision to make; even for those who have gone through the process before. Meeting your therapist for the first time can be an even bigger deal. Without realising, the choice to enter therapy with this person was actually a commitment to form a connection with an unknown being.

Not dissimilar to any first meeting, this leap of faith is often plagued with conflicting emotions and can precipitate various hypotheses about the therapist, their therapy style, and whether one will actually be required to lie on the couch like all those therapy cartoons illustrate. From this, the engines of the world wide web are ignited and the online surveillance begins, which is all driven by the intention to increase knowledge by decreasing unknown factors; but more importantly, search for the information that will confirm that they will get it.

Some psychologists may have webpages (like this one) that provide an idea of their approach, issues they are comfortable working with, other professional interests, and some may even have their photo posted; all of which can help put the mind of an anxious client-to-be at ease. However some therapists may not provide that insight pre-first appointment. Regardless, whether or not this information is available does not necessarily determine the connection in the room, and connection is what allows the therapeutic magic to happen.

The first appointment can be experienced with anxiety and apprehension, but also relief and positive anticipation. Either way, whatever is experienced in the lead up to meeting your therapist, it is all valid. Keep in mind, that similar to other relationships (platonic, familial, intimate, or professional), the connection between the therapist and client may take time to develop, so give it a chance. However if the connection does not develop, despite attempts within therapy to understand why, an openness to trying again with someone new may be the best option for you. Remember, not all relationships work out; we are all human after all!